Part 1 of the mini-series “The Neuroscience of Influence & Power

This article is part of a three-part series exploring how influence, power, and presence are shaped not by what we say, but by how our nervous systems interact. Each piece looks at a different layer of leadership : communication, politics, and psychological safety through the lens of neuroscience and human behavior.

Because leadership, at its core, is not just about strategy or skill. It is about connection, attunement, and how safe people feel in your presence.

Every leader I’ve ever coached wants to communicate better. They want to inspire, influence, and create impact with their words.

But here’s what I’ve learned: real communication starts long before you speak.

It starts in the silence. In the way you listen. In how your presence makes someone’s nervous system feel.

When you truly listen, something powerful happens in the brain. Your mirror neurons activate, syncing with the other person’s emotional state. It is a biological dance; two nervous systems aligning through tone, pace, and attention.

In that moment, the brain receives a signal that says, “It’s safe here.” The amygdala quiets. The prefrontal cortex re-engages. And suddenly, the conversation opens up.

That is when trust builds. Not from the words you choose, but from how you make others feel in your presence.

Listening as a Leadership Skill

We often think listening is passive. But the brain works harder during listening than during speaking.

When you are fully present, your anterior cingulate cortex and insula, the regions linked to empathy and emotional understanding light up. You begin to read tone, pause, and micro-expressions with greater accuracy.

This is why presence is felt before it is heard.

But when you listen with distraction, your brain stays in self-protect mode. It filters everything through your next point or your need to be right. And that is when connection breaks down.

People don’t shut down because they disagree with your words. They shut down because they don’t feel seen.

Why Leaders Struggle to Listen

Modern leadership runs on speed. We listen to reply, not to understand. We equate quick answers with competence.

But every time you interrupt or rush someone, their amygdala interprets it as a micro-threat. It triggers cortisol and defensiveness. The conversation becomes about protection, not problem-solving.

That is why so many meetings end without resolution. It is not poor communication, it is an unsafe nervous system exchange.

How Great Leaders Listen

1. Pause before responding. Silence regulates both brains. A one-second pause tells others they’ve been heard.
2. Mirror emotion, not content. Say what you sense. “It sounds like this situation feels frustrating” opens space for honesty.
3. Regulate your body. Relax your shoulders. Breathe slowly. A calm body is more persuasive than polished words.
4. Stay curious. Instead of jumping to advice, ask, “What feels most important to you right now?” Curiosity signals psychological safety.

The Leadership Reframe

Communication is not about speaking better. It’s about being fully there.

Because when your nervous system is calm and your attention is real, your words land differently. You stop managing conversations and start creating connection.

And in that connection, influence happens naturally, quietly, and powerfully.

Great leaders don’t listen to fix. They listen to understand. And that is where every meaningful conversation begins.

Inside Reset to Rise, this is the real work. Helping high-achieving women redefine what powerful leadership feels like from the inside out.