Over the years, I’ve coached hundreds of ambitious women, many of them mid-career leaders in high-performing roles. They’re talented, committed, and capable. And yet, a familiar narrative often shows up in our conversations:

“I know I’m good at what I do, but I still hesitate to speak up in high-stakes meetings.” “I hold back from applying for that role. What if I’m not ready yet?” “I don’t want to be seen as aggressive, so I soften my message.”

On paper, they are confident. But their experience at work tells a different story.

It’s Not Always a Confidence Problem

The term confidence gap has been used to describe why women may appear less self-assured than their male peers. It’s a popular topic in leadership circles. It’s also a convenient one because it places the burden of change on women.

But let’s be honest.

Confidence does not exist in isolation. It is shaped by the environment we operate in. When a woman consistently experiences being interrupted, overlooked, or penalised for assertiveness, what we label as a “confidence issue” is often a sign of repeated, subtle invalidation.

This isn’t a question of whether women believe in themselves. It’s about whether they feel safe expressing that belief in environments that may not reward it.

How Organisational Culture Plays a Role

Confidence thrives in cultures where psychological safety exists. Where diverse voices are not just heard but valued. Where feedback is constructive, not coded. Where leaders are taught to recognise bias and address it not dismiss it.

Without this foundation, asking women to “speak up more” or “lean in” becomes performative advice. It ignores the structural and cultural context they’re navigating.

A client once said to me, “I know I’m qualified. I just don’t know how to show it without being judged.”

That’s not self-doubt. That’s conditioning.

The Leadership Shift We Need

What if we stopped telling women to “fix” themselves and started fixing the culture around them?

What if leadership development went beyond skill-building and addressed safety, bias, and visibility?

What if we replaced advice with support- support that includes mentoring, real-time feedback, and space to unlearn outdated narratives?

In my work, confidence is not something I teach. It’s something women reclaim when the conditions are right.

For Leaders and Organisations Reading This

If you’re in a position of influence, consider this:

• How are you making space for quieter voices to contribute without being interrupted?
• Are you offering feedback that supports growth or reinforcing stereotypes?
• Do your leadership pathways reflect the diversity of talent within your teams?

Creating inclusive leadership cultures is not a one-time initiative. It’s an ongoing commitment.

Leadership Takeaway

Confidence matters. But it cannot be viewed in a vacuum. For mid-career women and for organisations that truly want to support them we need to move beyond surface-level advice and start addressing the deeper systems at play.

Because the truth is, most women don’t need to be more confident. They need to be heard, respected, and backed.

If this resonated with you, consider this your invitation to pause and reframe. Subscribe to Reset to Rise: The Leadership Dispatch for weekly insights that blend neuroscience, leadership strategy, and real-world coaching tools designed for women who are ready to lead from alignment, not exhaustion.

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