For years, we’ve been put into boxes.

You’re either an introvert or an extrovert. One recharges in silence, the other in crowds. One listens. The other talks. One is deep. The other is dynamic.

But as a coach working with mid-career women in leadership, I’ve found that these labels often create more confusion than clarity. They limit how women see themselves and how they think they’re supposed to show up in meetings, presentations, and high-stakes leadership moments.

The truth is, neuroscience tells a more nuanced and far more empowering story.

What If We’ve Been Asking the Wrong Question?

The introvert–extrovert conversation often focuses on social comfort. But the more important question is: how does your brain process stimulation and reward?

According to Dr. Andrew Huberman and other neuroscientists, the real distinction lies in how your dopaminergic system works.

Here’s what the science reveals:

• Introverts tend to have a more sensitive dopamine response. This means they experience a strong “reward” signal even during brief social interaction. As a result, they reach their stimulation threshold faster and need time to recover.
• Extroverts tend to have lower dopamine sensitivity, so they require more frequent or intense stimulation to feel the same internal reward. More conversations, more activity, more novelty.

It’s not about how outgoing or social you are. It’s about how your brain’s reward system is wired.

There’s More: The Acetylcholine Factor

Another key neurochemical at play is acetylcholine, which is associated with sustained focus, internal reflection, and learning.

Research suggests that introverts have a more active acetylcholine pathway. This supports their preference for focused work, quiet environments, and meaningful one-on-one conversations.

It also explains why introverts feel mentally drained in overstimulating environments like day-long team offsites, back-to-back meetings, or high-simulation events. Their nervous system is simply processing more input, more intensely.

Meanwhile, extroverts are more likely to seek and sustain attention through external cues and interaction, because their baseline reward response demands more input to feel satisfied.

Why This Matters in Leadership

Too often, we mistake introversion for lack of confidence or visibility, and extroversion for leadership readiness.

Mid-career women, in particular, are told they need to speak up more, network more, or be more present, when in reality, they may already be operating at their brain’s optimal threshold.

If you’re an introvert, you may:

• Contribute less frequently in group settings, but with more depth
• Need time alone to make high-quality decisions
• Struggle with overstimulation in open-plan offices or high-velocity work cultures
• Prefer deep mentorship and influence over outward visibility

If you’re an extrovert, you may:

• Gain clarity through real-time discussion
• Feel energized in collaborative brainstorming
• Lead with high engagement but may struggle to slow down or reflect
• Prefer high-interaction roles or environments

Neither is better. But knowing your brain’s reward wiring helps you lead in ways that preserve energy instead of depleting it.

Coaching Insight: Self-Awareness is a Leadership Skill

In Reset to Rise, I often work with women who’ve tried to force themselves into louder, more visible forms of leadership because they were told that was the only way to succeed.

Over time, that performance wears thin. It leads to fatigue, disconnection, and imposter syndrome.

But when we slow down and understand how their nervous system is wired, everything changes.

They learn to:

• Set up their day based on cognitive load and energy windows
• Redefine visibility in ways that feel sustainable
• Use silence and reflection as strengths, not shortcomings
• Build presence without overexposure
• Trust that their way of leading is valid

The goal isn’t to become more like someone else. The goal is to lead from regulation and alignment so your leadership feels natural, not performed.

Leadership Takeaway

Your leadership voice does not need to be loud to be powerful. It needs to be clear, well-regulated, and true to how your brain works.

This isn’t about introvert versus extrovert. It’s about knowing how your energy is wired, and learning to lead from that understanding, not despite it.

You are not underperforming because you need quiet. You are not too much because you thrive in engagement. You simply need the space to lead in a way that honours your inner wiring.

That is not self-indulgence. It is strategy.

Your Reset starts here

If traditional leadership advice has ever made you feel like you need to be more of something you’re not, this article is for you.

Subscribe to Reset to Rise: The Leadership Dispatch for neuroscience-based insights, real coaching stories, and actionable tools for women ready to lead with presence, not performance.

Your brain isn’t the problem. Trying to lead like someone else is.